Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer - N Apostrophe T lyrics
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SCENE: Outside the cave of a very grouchy hermit. CAST: The hermit (H) and a very sweet child (C). C: Isn't it a lovely day? H: No, it isn't! C: Could you come outside and play? H: No, I couldn't! C: Did you ever take a hike? H: No, I didn't! C: How'd you like to ride my bike? H: Frankly, I wouldn't! C: Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't -- Is that all you can say? H: Isn't, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't -- Yes, now go away! The sweetest sound to me, It stands for "not," I like it a lot, It's spelled N apostrophe T. C: Have you ever tried to smile? H: No, I haven't! C: Won't you try it for a while? H: No, I won't! C: Are there games to play in there? H: No, there aren't! C: Then why d'you like to stay in there? H: Frankly, I don't! C: Haven't, won't, aren't, don't -- Is that all you can say? H: Haven't, won't, aren't, don't -- And I said, "Go away!" Grouches all agree, We get a glow From saying "NO!" With N apostrophe T. C: Do you talk to anyone? H: (wistfully) No, I don't. C: Come on out and have some fun. H: (hesitantly) No, I couldn't. C: Can't you even tell me why? H: (apologetically) No, I can't. C: Will it kill you just to try? H: (wanting to) Well. I shouldn't. C: Don't, couldn't, can't, shouldn't -- Now try it once my way! Do! H: Do! C: Could! H: Could! C: Can! H: Can! C: Should! H: Should! Hey, that feels okay! I'll give it a try And say goodbye To N apostrophe C: N apostrophe Both: N apostrophe T!