I used to be a liberaluntil a conservative shot me
and let me tell you something
that really got me
that I'd had it all wrong
it was time to join the fun
so down to the Wal Mart went I
to get myself a gun
I joined the NRA
it's like viagra to a man
and the John Birch Society
when I proved republi-can
hung around at the border
to check the shade of skin
you can't be too careful
when those foreigners are let in
I used to be a liberal
I used to be a liberal
Fox news offered me a job
but I think they got it covered
in their never ending search
to find those Smothers Brothers
besides I had my hands full
chasing patriotism you see
and burning big old crosses
on the lawns that don't agree
burned all my Dixie Chicks
loaded up on Toby Keith
got myself some NASCAR shirts
knocked out a few front teeth
went up to the attic
for the Joe McCarthy pics
ah...the good old glory days
with DC full of hicks
I used to be a liberal
I used to be a liberal
used to hate the thought of war
but now I really love it
and if you disagree with me
well you can go and shove it
you are a danger to the troops
this you can't deny
when Tommy Franks saw Bull Durham
it just about made him cry
So i've got an invitation
for all you liberalees
huddling behind locked doors
watching Michael Moore movies
you want a license to shoot down
any dog you see?
stop your marching in the streets
and come goose step with me
I used to be a liberal
I used to be a liberal
until a conservative shot me