In January Cousin Fred
We found him in the attic dead.
In February's odd adventure 
Father lost his dentures.
In March Fiona got a fright 
When she was coming home one night.
Some people in a long black car 
Made her get in and drove her far.
In April Horace left behind 
Without a thought what little mind
He may have had. In the result 
He joined an unknown eastern cult.
In May Aunt Flo began to sneeze, 
Which heralded some strange disease.
In June James got himself arrested 
And still is far and wide detested.
In July Mama's pin money dwindled 
Away to nought when she was swindled.
In August Bruno had a fit, 
A passing tot he fiercely bit.
In September Amy's luck was rotten 
While singing Die Frau ohne Schatten.
In October Alice was betrothed 
To Edgar whom she found she loathed.
In November it was rather frightening 
When Baby Boo was struck by lightning.
The experts think perhaps he'll walk 
And even learn to sort of talk.
We spent December on a cruise, 
Where everyone was sad to lose
Miss Grey in Norway's deepest fjord,
She happened to fall overboard.
So much for us - we trust that you 
Have managed somehow to get through
The year and so can celebrate 
A bit before the hand of fate
Shall get us in its clutch again, 
But we anticipate our Gorey end.