Now I farmed in Congresbury when I were a boy
A-courting of Rose, she were my pride and joy
Now Rosie was pretty and just seventeen
When I showed her the works of me threshing machine
Threshing machine, threshing machine
I showed her the works of my threshing machine

She told me that she were a much-traveled girl
Seen faces, been places all over the world
But there was one sight that her eyes never seen
A vertical piston-drive threshing machine
Threshing machine, threshing machine
A vertical piston-drive threshing machine

We went to the barn and I took her inside
And said, "If you're good I might give you a ride"
It stood there all sparkling and shiny and clean
She said, "That's what I call a threshing machine"
Threshing machine, threshing machine
"That's what I call a threshing machine"

She asked me to demonstrate how the thing worked
So I let out the clutch: the machine went berserk
You couldn't see nought for the smoke and the steam
When I started revving me threshing machine
Threshing machine, threshing machine
When I started revving my threshing machine

When I said Rose could drive it, for better or worse
The whole dang contraption went into reverse
The camshaft seized up, well, you know what I mean
And that was the end of me threshing machine
Threshing machine, threshing machine
And that was the end of my threshing machine