Listen boys and girls

About the other world

It's just a day job

Night job

Odd job

Nose job

Hand job

Blow job

Rack job

Snow job

Boring 9-to-5 job

Rather have a knob job



Things get too inertial

No time for commercials

I'd rather be a clone

I guess I'm going home

To visit Kojak

Gong Show

Happy Days

Adam-12

Edge Of Night

Love Of Life

Merv and Mike

Good Times

Make A Deal

Charlie's Angels

Family Feud



Feeling so much thinner

I need a TV dinner



I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore



TV suicide

TV suicide

What a lovely way to die

It's a television suicide



Please stand by

We're coming to you live

'Cause we got news

Hot news

Flash news

Trash news

Funny news

Stupid news

Comprehensive overviews

Eyewitness TV news

Brought to you by Gucci shoes



This one is so juicy

We're pre-empting Lucy



Coming down the street

The sound of running feet

He's at the front door

Back door

Side door 

Cellar door

First floor

Second floor

Third floor

Bedroom door

Throws himself across the floor

Turns it on to Channel 4



Stay tuned to this channel

For our all-star panel



I used to know him

He seemed like a regular guy



TV suicide

TV suicide

What a lovely way to die

It's another case of telecide



TV suicide

TV suicide

What a lovely way to die

It's a television suicide