Roy taught me how to play baseball and do the foxtrot on the harp

Taught me how to swim and fish and tell the difference between bass and carp

Taught me how to snap my fingers whistle through my teeth oh Uncle Roy

He sure took time to make times good for a little pesty half grown boy

Aunt Kathleen would wash my clothes and blow my nose whenever nature called

Darn my socks and damn the pox but kept me out of school from fall to fall

Gave me movie money though I never did my chores the way I should

To a nasty little nephew Kathleen you sure made aunthood awful good

And Freddy used to laughed to me whenever something valuable got broke

He taught me how to climb a tree about birds and bees and taught me how to smoke

He took me on a first date I was scared to death but he said you'll do fine

Good buddy you're my cousin but you seem more like a brother of mine

But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore

Roy's all crippled up now Kathleen can hardly see

Freddy's off somewhere to fight a war

But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore

Everything has changed and who were there to blame

Gone far that you just can't go home

[ strings ]

Looking back I'd say I had the best childhood that money just can't buy

And I owe it all to free good folks who took me in when mom began to die

They always told me son just do what's right and you'll be proud just wait and see

Well Roy and Kathleen I'm only proud that you're the ones who's proud of me

But you can't go home to the good times you can't go home anymore

Roy's rheumatism Kathleen's cataract and Freddy's fightin' someone else's war