We had to book a holiday, but we were sick o'Whitley bay

We fancied the Mediterranean.

All the vacancies had gone, that's all the vacancies but one

A Vacancy for which we didn't plan.



WHAT COULD WE DO? WE COULD HITCH, A RIDE BACK HOME FROM MOSKVITCH

WE HAD TO STAY & FACE THE COST & SUNBATHE IN THE RUSSIAN FROST.



[Chorus:]

One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME

One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW

I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME



The brochure said it's nice & warm, you need no Russian uniform

We had the flu & caught a Russian cough,

No fish n'chips or decent pubs, We called the hotel Wormwood Scrubs

We said we would complain to Gorbochof.



WE COULDN'T FIND A DISCO ANYWHERE, NO McDONALDS OR A WIMPY IN RED SQUARE

WE MUST HAVE BEEN POTTY TO HAVE GONE TO THE SOVIET UNION.

[Chorus]



For a pint & Coronation Street

RUSSIAN HOME

A Bacon Sarny & as much as we can eat

RUSSIAN HOME

[Guitar Bit]