All the world's a stage they say 
And I've seen many things 
Standing with my little ukelele in the wings 

I've seen bearded ladies 
And strong men with iron bars 
I've seen cheeky chorus girls 
Hob-nobbing with the stars 

Yes, all the world's a stage they say 
And I've seen many things 
Standing with my little ukelele in the wings 

Once a leading lady 
Was clearly in distress 
She asked if I could help her 
You should have seen the outcome 
I almost broke me strings! 
Standing with my little ukelele in the wings 

I've seen song and dance men 
Being heckled by cat-calls 
And a buxon bare-back rider 
Make a juggler drop his clubs! 

Yes, all the world's a stage 
And you won't believe the things 
I've seen standing with my little... 
Standing my little... 
Standing with my little ukelele in the wings!