Well, I`m a lonesome schoolboy
And I just came into town
Yeah, I`m a lonesome schoolboy
And I just came into town
Well, I heard so much about London
I decided to check it out 

Well, I wait in Leicester Square
With a come-hither look in my eye
Yeah, I`m leaning on Nelsons Column
But all I do is talk to the lions

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?
Where can I get my ass fucked?
I may have no money,
But I know where to put it every time 

Well, I asked a young policeman
If he`d only lock me up for the night
Well, I`ve had pigs in the farmyard,
Some of them, some of them, they`re alright
Well, he fucked me with his truncheon
And his helmet was way too tight 

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?
Where can I get my ass fucked?
I ain`t got no money,
But I know where to put it every time 

I`m a lonesome schoolboy in your town
I`m a lonesome schoolboy