[Verse 1]
Rat tattin’ at the door,
Several people maybe more,
Form an orderly queue.
Ralph waits negotiates,
Weighs up n’ pays up,
And heads off to consume.
Whilst mamma’s shooting squirrels from the back room.

[Verse 2]
Well he’s off hunting nature’s gold,
Doorstep deals are on hold,
Bring your kill to the yard.
Unzip it in the shed,
In the river with its head,
Old habits die hard.
Mamma said keep your readies in the cookie jar.

[Chorus 1]
Like mother like son,
Self-sufficient with a pogey and an air gun.
The apple don’t fall far,
When you’re caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

[Verse 3]
Knackered boat out at the back,
Rusty trike that’s off the track,
Wearing down them shoes.
Walking to his drinking patch,
Sink a beer then down the hatch,
Not one to refuse.
Where’s he at? in the cellar catchin’ polecat.
It’s tit for tat they’re lockin’ teeth in drunken combat.

[Chorus 2]
Like father like son,
Self-sufficient with a pogey and an air gun.
The apple don’t fall far,
When you’re caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

[Verse 4]
Seems he’s always on the take,
Found a new tax break,
Screw the generous few.
Long at back and short on top,
Will the eighties ever stop?
We’re getting déjà vu.
The price of fashion with a camo vest and tattoos.
The folks said they broke the mould when they made you.

[Chorus 1]
Like mother like son,
Self-sufficient with a pogey and an air gun.
The apple don’t fall far,
When you’re caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
Said when you get yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.