Mardi Gras came and went
All my money has been spent
How am I gonna pay the rent?
Sitting on your face
Sitting on my ass

Who mistook the steak for chicken?
Who am I gonna stick my dick in?
We’re not those kids, sitting on the couch

My former life, I was a high roller 
My former life, I had a sister
Walked around in a diamond stroller 
I abused her and I dissed her
Found my calling as a part-time bowler 
She got swept up in a twister
Traded my wife in for a new three holer 
First I laughed and then I missed her

Who mistook these baths for showers?
Who fucked up that leaning tower?
We’re not those kids, sitting on the couch

Oh get on a greyhound and ride away
Live on birthday cake each day 
Different dreams than yesterday
Tell your grandparents that they’re gay 
Tell your grandma, you’re okay 
Steal their money and run away 
Kiss her cheek and run away
Cuz me and my friends are so smart
We invented this new kind of art 
We invented this new kind of dart
Post-Modernest Throwing Darts 
Hit A Bulls-eye, cut a fart
Smoking crack and cutting…crack

Who mistook this crap for genius? 
Who is dancing on the ceiling?
Who is gonna stroke my penis? 
Who is gonna hurt my feelings?
We’re not those kids, sitting on the couch

Oh people are shiny like a brand new book 
Even your mother is a crook 
But if you get a closer look 
But if I get a closer look
There’s shit on every hand you shook
There’s shit on every road you took
If you don’t believe me, look at your hand 
If you don’t believe me, read the book

Who made all these things for killing?  
Somebody’s making a killing 
Who’s pussy hole needs filling? 
Who’s empty heart needs filling?
We’re not those kids, sitting on the couch
Who mistook the steak for chicken?
Who am I gonna stick my dick in?
We’re not those kids, sitting on the couch