Oh if only you were the only boy in town
For then I could not play the field and let you down
I would not go half-mad for each passing lad
With eyes of blue, green, gray, or brown
No, if only you were the only boy in town

Oh if only you were the only boy in France
Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
I think I would endeavor to love you forever
Instead of only for the nonce
If-if only you were the only boy in France

With the only boy in town
With the only available male
In the loneliest possible world
There would be no daily betrayal

Oh if only you were the only boy alive
And I were the queen of our small, small, small beehive
Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
Would they all take up all my s** drive?
Not-not-not if you were the only boy alive

Oh if only you were the only boy in town
Oh if only you were the only boy in France