A pity she does not exist
A shame he's not a fag
The only girl I ever loved was
Andrew in drag

There is no hope of love for me
From here on I'm a stag
The only girl I'll ever love is
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

I don't know why I even went
It's really not my bag
Just thought it might be funny to see
Andrew in drag

The moment he walked on the stage
My tail began to wag
Wag like a little wiener dog for
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

I've always been a ladies' man
And I don't have to brag
But I become a momma's boy for
Andrew in drag

I'd sign away my trust fund
I would even sell the Jag
If I could spend my misspent youth with
Andrew in drag

Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah

So stick him in a dress and
He's the only boy I'd shag
The only boy I'd anything is
Andrew in drag

I'll never see that girl again
He did it as a gag
I'll pine away forevermore for
Andrew in drag