You were talking to yourself while everyone was indicating,
You were watching movies on TV.

You were playing with yourself while everyone was ovulating,
You were masturbating to TV.

Please don't text me on the phone, my VCR at home, please work.
Please don't e-mail me past nine, 'cause I met someone online and,
I'm in an online world beyond.

You were talking to yourself while everyone was spent in bed,
And you were picture framing your e-mails.

You were playing with yourself while everyone was giving head,
And you were contemplating on G-mail.

(Chorus)

Oh, the internet is real.
Oh, the internet is everything in my life.

(Chorus)

You were talking to yourself while everyone was fornicating,
And you were all alone in your bedroom.