The usual Saturday night affair
Dinner with a girl, when you're lucky
Make an appearance at the Club
The Club is just a bar with a band
But we feel different
We pay the nightly rental
To find a place where we'll be seen
Watching tonight's band masturbate
As we drink our beers and sneer

Something in the water, keeps us glassy eyed and lame
Something in the water, started this sad routine

There's a skeleton man crouching
At a table near the door
He grins with all his teeth
As we walk by him
Just like a cartoon monkey
He was laughing at us
Rolling his eyes
We looked at each other carefully
But we failed to see the humor

Something in the water, keeps us glassy eyed and lame
Something in the water, started this sad routine

We spend all our time bitching
To our noncommittal friends
About the little things
Around which we've built good lives
We hold an all night vigil
Because we're so afraid to leave alone
We wait and wait and wait and wait
Until we give up and retreat for home

Something in the water, keeps us glassy eyed and lame
Something in the water, started this sad routine
There's something in the water
Something in the water
Something in the water
I wonder if things will ever change
No...