Spent last winter playing in the sandWith the prisoners of the motherlandDamn hotel is feeling like a cellAnd even paradise can be so cruelSitting by the swimming poolTrying to keep my head togetherIn that hot australia weatherThree days to kill and my per diem’s getting low’cause I spent all my money calling long distanceCalling long distance, such a long way from homeAm I talking to long distance, can you put me through? Twelve thousand miles but I’ve got not resistance,Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distanceNow the road hog’s face is turning redLarry’s still asleep in bedRomeo he can’t get no head at allAnd the doctor looks on so annoyedYou disappoint me, mr. boydAnd the electric dwarf wishes he was six foot tallNow romeo’s patience is wearing thinC’mon baby, let me inIt’s five a.m. and I’ve been creeping ’round the hallGot no resistance calling long distanceYou sound so close but your such a long way from homeAm I talking to long distance, can you put me through? Twelve thousand miles but I’ve got not resistance,Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distanceStill no points for my merrymen,Except ricard, he just scored tenNow road hog’s getting drunk againAnd I only get to hold my penInstead of what I love to hold the most.I feel so lonesome I could cryCount the hours as they roll byIt’s day time nowI think I’ll make a callHello long distance, calling long distanceYou sound so close but you’re such a long way from homeYou’re such a long way from homeHave to admit I got no resistance to the red light on the wallThe message said I got a call,Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance