The door blew open and Jack blew in

He looked at the barkeep and said with a grin

I must be going I really can't stay

So pour me a drink and I'll be on my way

Barkeep said … “What'll it be?'



I'll have one whiskey, one porter, one rye

And bring me some cider I'll give that a try

Bring me two rums, one buttered one cold

And bring me a scotch at least 7 years old



Then bring on the wine I'll start with the Port

And wash it all down with a beer of some sort

The brandy and sherry some grog and some ale

Some old mountain dew and a good howlin' gale



Mead, stout, vermouth and gin

Vodka, bourbon, and a sly grin

Moonshine, tequila, cognac and schnapps 

Some old sour mash and two belly flops

Goldwasser, ouzo, white lightning, green toad

Absinthe, sombuca, and one for the road!



Jack drank it down and said that was great

But I must be going before it's too late

Then his friends joined him and said sit back down

If you must be going we'll buy you a round

Barkeep said … “What'll it be?'



[CHORUS]



With all his friends passed out on the floor

Still Jack's bleary eyes were set on the door

The barkeep he said “It's early you see,

So sit right back on down cause this one's on me'

So Jack said … “Ut'll butt he?'



[CHORUS]



Two ladies entered Jack got to his feet

He motioned them over and said have a seat

Both the girls giggled, one gave him a wink

And Jack with a smile said I'll buy you a drink

Barkeep said … “What'll it be?'



[CHORUS]



So Jack stood up and said “I must be off'

The barkeep said “Now I don't mean to scoff

But you're here nightly and never do go

So what's say we both have one for the road?'

Barkeep said … “What'll it be?'



[CHORUS]



Barkeep said … “FASTER!'



[CHORUS]