I once had a lover named Gigi
He was a french guy with roots in Parigi
It didn't take too long before it dawned on me
That Gigi loved the bottle more than he loved me
 
And so my friends said: "This guy won't give you no satisfaction!"
And then my conscience said: "You're a victim of carnal attraction"
So I packed my bags and left him standin' there
And Gigi has been lonely ever since - so
 
Listen to me fellas, if you think that the world revolves around you
Well don't - don't you hurt your darlings, or your darlings just might end up hurting you (dudut dut dudoo)

And then came a fella named Mickey
I'll tell you the truth: he was a hell of a sickie
He kept me way too long for it was plain to see
That he loved fifty others simultaneously
 
And then my sister said: "Oh no, not again, please!"
My other sister said: "Come on now, keep smiling, cheese!"
And so I packed my bags and left him standing there
And Mickey has been crying ever since - so
 
Listen to me fellas, you may have some charms and some good tactics too
But don't - don't mistreat your darlings, or your darlings might end up mistreating you (dudut dut duduu)

Then finally I met Fredric
I thought alright baby let us go steadric
We didn't hesitate because apparently
I was the one for him and he was perfect for me
 
And then my momma said: "Well THAT was a tough one!"
And then my poppa said: "Grazie a Dio, finalmente!"
Here's a story with a happy ending
Though Freddy hears me preachin' ev'ryday -oh
Listen to me fellas, you may have the looks and your heart may be true
But don't - don't you kill your darlings, or your darlings just might end up, if you get the message aise your hand up (shout), or your darlings just might end up killing you! That's right, that's what they'll do!