You carry an illness.

Practically know it by name.

It seldom speaks for you.

You learned to tune it away.

but It wasn't easy.

Was fond of your writing.

It allowed me to see into you.

You hid behind the similes like fractal light

in all shades of blue pebbles and mirrors.



i'm just jealous because i tried

mapping out your mind's inconsistent ways.

Tangled and untied, I watched your ends start to fray.

You felt buried from the start. Tearing you apart.

Constricting the free beating of your heart.

I knew your postcard would say,

"wish you could stay wish you felt the same way."



Asked to be admitted and they put a lock on your door.

Subdued, medicated, face to linoleum floor.



and You tried to break away. Painted window panes.

Bars behind the glass molded to the frame.

You saw yourself in those days.

You felt buried from the start. Tearing you apart.

Constricting the free beating of your heart.

I knew your postcard would say,

"wish you could stay wish you felt the same way."



I am tearing up pieces of old news

to mend the leaks in my open wounds.

Protect your pressure points i refuse to press against.

Let yourself renew. Project the voice that I found for you.

Pull up the weeds from the ground you grew.

Feel soil under your toes.

It's you you have forever.



I felt weaker when I bent. Beaten to the end. Folding on myself.

Too damaged to mend, I couldn't hold all the weight.

You felt buried from the start. Tearing you apart.

Injuring yourself dragging from my arm.

I knew your postcard would say,

"I know your new heart still desires to play

and who would i be to keep it all for me."

Wish I could stay wish I felt the same way.