Leaping from the top of the wardrobe Just like batman 
from the 22nd floor A bathtowel for a cape I fear 
nothing, For you I'd do all of this and more, I take the 
bumps, I take the knocks, I'm your very own porno-
stuntman.
I take the bumps, I take the knocks, I take the edge off 
while your love-life sucks Might be a stand-in lover But 
I do what I can, I'm your very own porno-stuntman.

I'll take a roll in the hay at midnight, Riskin'me a 
punch in the jaw, Lord knows I'd probably get more than 
that If anybody heard or saw, None of your friends have 
ever seen me, I am behind the scenes without a face, But 
when your main man's acting up again, Just you name the 
time an place I'm an academy award winning no-one Hidden 
in your closet I'm a toy But I'm your key-grip, dolly, 
I'm no extra I'm up there in the credits as best boy.
I take the bumps, I take the knocks, I take the edge off 
while your love-life sucks