Everybody always liked Johnny's mother

Everybody always thought that she was so cool

Everybody went over to her friend's one day

she had no choice, but to eat it,



and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance

wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance



Well, she really thought that she was going to make it

so, she moved out to HOLLYWOOD

she went out to become an actress

she got down to take it,



and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance

and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance



Well, she really thought that she was going to make it

she sped straight down to the bottom

writhing in circles down there

making a film about HOLLYWOOD!



and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance

and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance



But, she really thought that she was gonna make it

but, bright are the lights of HOLLYWOOD!

loud are the shouts of HOLLYWOOD!

and all the choices are taken,



(3-dimensional guitar solo by Kid Congo Powers)



Everybody always like Johnny's mother

Everybody watches her show everyday

from somewhere near Champaign, Illinois

we all got down to take it!



and wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance

wow! What a time we had!

she had to do the Crab Dance



she really had to do it

she didn't have  a choice

to do the Crab Dance

to do the Crab Dance



Well, you torn your dress, your face is a mess

you can get enough a

you got a transmission and a live wire

to do the Crab Dance

to do the Crab Dance



Well, Crab Dancing! Crab Dancing!