I could make a dress
a robe fit for a prince
I could clothe a continent
but I can't sew a stitch

I can paint my face
and stand very, very still
Its not very practical
but it still pays the bills

I can't change my name
but I could be your type
I can dance and win at games
like backgammon and life

I used to be the smart one
sharp as a tack
Funny how that skipping years ahead
has held me back

I used to be the bright one
top in my class
Funny what they give you when you
just learn how to ask

I can write a song
but I cant sing in key
I can play piano
but I never learned to read

I can't trap a mouse
but I can pet a cat
No I'm really serious!
I'm really very good at that

I can't fix a car
but I can fix a flat
I could fix alot of things
but I'd rather not get into that

I used to be the bright one
smart as a whip
Funny how you slip so far when
teachers dont keep track of it

I used to be the tight one
the perfect fit
Funny how those compliments can
make you feel so full of it

I can shuffle cut and deal
but I can't draw a hand
I can't draw a lot of things
I hope you understand
I'm not exceptionally shy
but I've never had a man
that I could look straight in the eye
and tell my secret plans

I can take a vow
and I can wear a ring
and I can make you promises but
they won't mean a thing

Can't you do it for me,
I'll pay you well
f*ck I'll pay you anything
if you could end this

Can't you just fix it for me,
it's gone berserk...
f*ck I'll give you anything if
you can make the damn thing work

Can't you just fix it for me,
Ill pay you well,
f*ck Ill pay you anything
if you can end this

Hello, I love you
will you tell me your name?
Hello, I'm good-for-nothing
will you love me just the same?