I rolled my eyes, burst into tears 

And how appropriate can you get? 

The details emerged, the anger surged 

I got to say I wish we never met 

Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx 

And I suppose it's just as well 

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you 

A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates 

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you 

You mom was mad at all your friends 

And vice-versa.  It wasn't cool. 

I couldn't read your eulogy 

I told your dad we kind of had an office pool 

Hey, a party cruise on the River Styx 

And I suppose it's the way to go 

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you 

A Concorde ride, right to the Pearly Gates 

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, it's so you 

We threw you a big Irish wake 

I know that you're Bolivian, but 

You always were the biggest fake 

We chose the path of least resistance 

And most fun, and most fun, and most fun 

Let the record show that I will fight your legend at every turn 

All the stories that were never true and the rep that you didn't earn 

I will do everything in my power to make sure that this little stunt of yours 

Gets you absolutely nowhere 

But I guess I'm really talking to myself here