I work on a train

That's eleven and a half cars long

I can only work at night

Cause the things I do are wrong



We carry some nasty substances

On this little night train

The first car's full of dioxin

Enough to wipe out the state of Maine



Oh, the evil, terrible things

That I sent down those tracks

I snuck them through your town at night

Right behind your back

On our little train (x2)



The second car's just painted black

What's in it nobody knows

Though sometimes it makes a buzzing noise

And once I saw it glow



The third car carries poison gas

And the fourth car it does, too

The fifth car's filled to the breaking point

With ortho orange forty-two



Oh, the evil, terrible things

That I sent down those tracks

I snuck them through your town at night

Right behind your back

On our little train (x2)



The sixth car leaks a strange brown ooze

On to the hoboes who ride below

It caused their hair to fall out

And their fingers turned bright blue

I swear to god it's true



The seventh car carries raw sewage

You can tell just by the scent

We used to have a warning sign

But something ate right through the print



Some sort a' illegal baby food

Is what we got in car number eight

And although I've never tried it myself

The conductor says it's great



We load the bodies of dead lab animals

On to car number nine

And I swear that sometimes late at night

I can hear those critters whine



Oh, the evil, terrible things

That I sent down those tracks

I snuck them through your town at night

Right behind your back

On our little train



Both cars number ten and eleven

Carry tainted juice

And I can hear it sloshing around

From my chair in the caboose