Jane, so I'll tell you a little bit about her.
        She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino.  She went to
        college and she started the Lesbian Eskimo Albino
        Student Union, and four hundred people signed up.
        There they were, hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget
        Eskimo left-handed albinos.  Did I mention the fact
        that she was left-handed?  She's left-handed,
        alright.

        Girl's got some strange hobbies.  One of her hobbies
        is lowering children into open manholes, which is
        kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the children are
        taller than her, her being a midget and everything
        ...or her being a left-handed midget...or her being
        a left-handed lesbian midget...or her being a left-
        handed lesbian albino midget...or her being a
        lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo...life can
        be really difficult on that young lady.

        She bit me once, you know.  Right here, you see
        this?  Left a mark.  She was lowerin' a friend of
        mine's kid into the sewer, and I run up, tryin' to
        stop her.  I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget
        left-handed albino!  You stop right there!"  And she
        bit me.  I'm afraid I'm gonna...I'm gonna turn into
        a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is
        full.

        Oh my God, the moon is full tonight!  I can feel
        myself shrinking!  I can feel myself becoming left-
        handed!  I can feel myself getting the urge to build
        an igloo!  I can feel my skin turning white and my
        eyes getting red!  I can feel...I can feel the urge
        ...to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!

        AAAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!  NOOO!  NNNNNOOOO!!!!
        NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

        Oh, I'm okay; it's just gas