Chappell Music Ltd
Arranged:TheCorries
Words: J W Hill ( Parody)
Music: Stan Jones


1. 	A man cam' riding oot the west one wild and stormy day
	He was tail, quiet and hungry, his eyes were smokey grey
	He was lean across the hurdies, but his shouders they were big
	The terror o' the hielan' glens that was the Portree Kid

	Chorus:

		He drum ho he drum hey
		The teuchter that cam' frae Skye

2.	His sidekick was an orra' man, and oh but he was mean
	He was ca'ad the Midnight Ploughboy, and he cam' frae Aberdeen
	He had twenty seven notches on his cromack so they say
	And he killed a million indians, way up in Stornoway

3. 	Portree booted in the door, he sauntered tae the bar
	He poured a shot o' Crabbies, he shouted Slainte Mhath (Slangevar)
	While Midnight was being chatted up by a bar room girl called Pam
	Who said 'Well how-dy stranger, wad' ye buy's a Babycham'

4. 	Now over in the corner sat three men frae Auchtertool
	They were playing games for money, in a snakes and ladder school
	The fourth man was a southerner who'd come up from Macmerry
	He'd been a river gambler on the Ballachulish Ferry

	Chorus

4. 	Portree walked tae the table and he shouted 'Shake me in'
	He shoogled on the eggcup, he gave the dice a spin
	He threw seven sixes in a row and the game was nearly done
	But then he landed on a snake, and finished on square one

5. 	The game was nearly over and Portree was doing fine
	He'd landed on a ladder, he was up to forty nine
	He only had but one to go and the other man was beat
	But the gambler cowped the board over, and shouted 'You're a cheat'

7. 	Men dived behind the rubber plants, to try and save their skins
	The accordionist stopped playing, his sidekick dropped the spoons
	He says 'I think its funny, you've been up that ladder twice
	And ye ayeways dunt the table, when I go tae throw my dice'

	Chorus

8.	The gambler drew his Skian Dubh (Skeandoo), as fast as lightning speed
	Portree grabbed a screwtop, he cracked him o'er the heid
	Then he gave him laldy, wi' a salmon off the wall
	And he finished off the business wi' his lucky grousefoot's claw

9. 	Portree walked up tae the bar, he says 'I'll hae a half
	And d'ye like the way I stuck it on that wee Macmerry nyaff
	But the southerner crept up behind. his features wracked wi' pain
	And he gubbed him wi' an ashtray, made oot o' a curling stane

10. 	The fight went raging on all night till opening time next day
	Wi' a break for soup and stovies aff a coronation tray
	It was getting kind o' obvious. that neither man would win
	When came the shout that stopped it all 'There's a bus trip coming in'

	Chorus

11. 	They sing this song in Galashiels and up by Peterheid
	Way down o'er the border. across the Rio Tweed
	About what became o Portree, Midnight and the Gambling Man
	They opened up a gift shop. selling fresh air in a can

	Chorus