"Gus The Theatre Cat" appears next. He's an aged stage actor 

suffering from palsy, who worked with the greatest actors of his 

day. Gus tells of his greatest theatrical triumphs, and yearns 

to do it again. 



SOLO: 

Gus is the cat at the theatre door 

His name, as I ought to have told you before 

Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce 

That we usually call him just Gus 



His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake 

And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake 

Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats 

But no longer a terror to mice or to rats 



For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime 

Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time 

And whenever he joins his friends at their club 

(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub) 



He loves to regale them, if someone else pays 

With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days 

For he once was a star of the highest degree 

He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree 



And he likes to relate his success on the halls 

Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls 

But his greatest creation as he loves to tell 

Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell 



GUS: 

I have played in my time every possible part 

And I used to know seventy speeches by heart 

I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag 

And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag 



I knew how to act with my back and my tail 

With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail 

I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts 

Whether I took the lead, or in character parts 



I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell 

When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell 

In the pantomime season, I never fell flat 

And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat 



But my grandest creation, as history will tell 

was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell 



SOLO: 

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin 

He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne 

At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat 

When some actor suggested the need for a cat 



GUS: 

And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained 

As we did in the days when Victoria reigned 

They never get drilled in a regular troupe 

And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop 



SOLO: 

And he says as he scratches himself with his claws 



GUS: 

Well the theatre is certainly not what is was 

These modern productions are all very well 

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell 



That moment of mystery when I made history 

As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell 



I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire 

To rescue a child when a house was on fire 

And I think that I still can much better than most 

Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost 



And I once played Growltiger 

Could do it again, could do it again 

Could do it again