(Heaton/Rotheray)

It was the middle of winter

And I drove us in my car

The snow started falling

So we stopped off at a bar



The beer started flowing

And your mother and I took the floor

But by the last dance we were tired

So I booked a room next door



So if anyone asks you

If you come from Heaven above

You're from a one star hotel

With a five star passionate love



It was a hot summers day

And we drove there in our car

And your father was thirsty

So we had to find a bar



Well he wouldn't stop drinking

And he couldn't stand on his feet

We had to walk to a hotel

And book ourselves into a suite



So if the teacher asks you

Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell

You're from a one star drunken screw

In a one star motel

Yes if the teacher asks you

Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell

You're from a pitch black toilet

In a highway Taco Bell



I'll remember the birth

For the rest of my time on this land

You're mother sweating buckets

And me holding onto her hand



Well your father was absent

He claimed he couldn't find the ward

Just tugging on mescal

Trying to eat the umbilical cord



So if anyone asks you

Do you know where you're from, say yes

You're from your mother's womb

And your father's stinking breath

And if they ask you how you got here

Tell them just what it took

Your father's stinking breath

And your mother's stinking luck



Your father and I won't tell the whole truth

Your father and I won't tell the truth