Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
        Science in the home 
        Late nights all alone with a test-tube 
        Ohh-oh-oh-oh... 
        Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine 
        Calls her on the phone 
        "Can I take you out to the pictures 
        Joa-oa-oa-oan?" 
        But as she`s getting ready to go 
        A knock comes on the door... 
      Bang, bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Came down upon her head 
        Bang, bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Made sure that she was dead 
      Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again 
        Teacher gets annoyed 
        Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene 
        She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away 
        So he waits behind 
        Writing 50 times "I must not be so-o-o-oo..." 
        But when she turns her back on the boy 
        He creeps up from behind 
      Bang, bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Came down upon her head 
        Bang, bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Made sure that she was dead 
      B.C. Thirty-One said "we caught a dirty one" 
        Maxwell stands alone 
        Painting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-oh 
        Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery 
        Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free) 
        The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-oo 
        But as the words are leaving his lips 
        A noise comes from behind 
      Bang, bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Came down upon his head 
        Bang, Bang, Maxwell`s silver hammer 
        Made sure that he was dead