Dead is better better than this
I long to feel maggots gnaw at my eyes
I long to be free of all of my lies
I want you to scrape my brains off the wall
I want you to pull the knife from my chest
I want you to be there when I'm dying
I want the last thing I see to be you crying
I'm returning to nothing
Smell the tears quivering from my lips of pain as I live 
the hurt
Pain fires up my spine with unrelentless force as the 
uncaring emotions tear into me
Dismissing lies as truth I lay with unconscious eyes
Blackened in fear, you took what I had inside
I want you to pull the pills from my throat
I want you to push me from the ledge
I want you to untie the noose from my neck
I want you to pull the razor from my wrist
I want you to be there to feel my last breath
I want you to know I'll find paradise in death