Got to load up the reindeer, put on my red suit and go
I use to like Christmas, but every year it gets worse
Getting gift to six billion people is just too much damn work

Got the Christmas blues, man this job is killing me
And most of these stupid new houses don't even have chimneys

I use to be jolly, now I'm depressed
Had a twinkle in my eye, now I've got a bullet proof vest
Cuz if the pace don't kill me, some gun totting yahoo will
They keep shooting at me like I'm some sort of big fat red criminal

Got the Christmas blues, I'm starting to see
That I gotta be some sort of loser to get paid in milk and cookies

I've grown to hate kids, especially their mail
Always asking me for stuff, well guess what I don't care, oh
Maybe I'm getting cranky as I get old
Cuz I feel like giving them all a big lump of coal

Got the Christmas blues, man, enough is enough
Next year you can find some other sucker to deliver this stuff
Got the Christmas blues, I tell you I'm gonna quit
And find me a steady job with good benefits