I'm only puttin' red on my Christmas tree,

It's a holiday I'll celebrate with my own company

Pour the wine, I'll be fine

Climb the ladder and place the star

Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

 

I won't have to deal with your family

The dressing and the stress, dysfunctionality

A two day drive, stuck inside with you signin' in the car

Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

 

Don't have to rack my brain tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway

Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say

 

I'll hold the remote control on Christmas Day

And I can watch The Grinch and not some football game

I'll order in, call some friends, might smoke me a cigar

Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world you are

 

Don't have to rack my brain, tryin' to find you the right thing you won't like anyway

Avoid your flirtin' brother and please your mother or find the right thing to say

 

instrumental

 

I won't have to wait for that ring this year

The one you always promised after too many beers

Pour the wine, I'll be fine

Climb the ladder and place the star

Well, Merry Christmas wherever in the world

 

Merry Christmas wherever in the world

Merry Christmas wherever in the hell you are