Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter)









Mrs. Lovett:	Wait! 

		What's your rush? 

		What's your hurry? 

	

		You gave me such a-- 

		Fright I thought you was a ghost 

	

		'Ave a minute? Can't you sit? 

		Seat ye down, SIT! 

		All I meant is that I 'aven't seen a customer fo' weeks 



		Did you come in for a pie, sir? 

		Do forgive me if me 'ead's a li''le vague 

	

		What was that? 

	

		Bet you think we had the plague 

		From the way that people 

		Keep avoidin' 



		No, you don't 



		Heaven knows I try, sir 

		But there's no one comes in even to inhale 

		Right you are, so would you like a drop of ale? 



		Mind you, I can hardly blame them 

		These are probably the worst pies in London 

		I know why nobody cares to take them 

		I should know 

		I make 'em 

		By God, oh 



		The worst pies in London 



		Even *that's* polite 

		The worst pies in London 

		If you dare to take a bite... 



		Is that just disgusting? 

		You'll have to concede it 

		It's nothing but *crusting* 

		Here drink this, you'll need it 

		The worst pies in London 



		And no wonder with the price of meat 

		What it is 

		When you get it 

		Never 



		Thought I'd live to see the day 



		Many think it was a treat 

		Finding poor 

		Animals 

		What are dying in the street 



		Mrs. *Mooney* has a pie shop 

		Does her business but I notice somethin' weird 

		Lately all our neighbour's cats have disappeared 



		'Ave to hand it to her 

		What a coarse 

		Enterprise 

		Poppin' pussies into pies 



		Wouldn't do in my shop 

		Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick 

		And I'm tellin' you them *pussycats* is quick 



		No denying times is hard, sir

		Even harder than the worst pies in London 

		Only *lard* and nothin' more 



		Is that just revolting? 

		Or greasy? 

		And gritty? 

		It looks like 

		It's moulting 

		And tastes like... 



		Well pity 

		A woman alone 

		With limited wind

		And the worst pies in London! 



		Ah, sir 

		Times is hard 

		Times is hard!



                          Thanks to Osaka for these lyrics