Seems a downright shame... 

TODD: Shame? 

LOVETT: 

Seems an awful waste... 

Such a nice, plump frame 

Wot's 'is name has... 

Had... 

Has! 

Nor it can't be traced... 

Bus'ness needs a lift, 

Debts to be erased... 

Think of it as thrift, 

As a gift, 

If you get my drift! 



Seems an awful waste... 

I mean, with the price of meat 

What it is, 

When you get it, 

If you get it... 



TODD: HAH! 

LOVETT: 

Good, you got it! 



Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop! 

Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast! 

And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most! 

And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste! 



[Simultaneously] 



TODD: 

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion 

LOVETT: 

Well, it does seem a waste... 



TODD: 

Eminently practical 

And yet appropriate as always! 

LOVETT: 

It's an idea... 



TODD: 

Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived 

Without you all these years, I'll never know! 

How delectable! 

Also undetectable! 

LOVETT: 

Think about it! 

Lots of other gentlemen'll 

Soon be comin' for a shave, 

Won't they? 

Think of 

All them 

Pies! 



TODD: 

How choice! 



How 

Rare! 



TODD: 

For what's the sound of the world out there? 

LOVETT: 

What, Mr. Todd? 

What, Mr. Todd? 

What is that sound? 

TODD: 

Those crunching noises pervading the air! 

LOVETT: 

Yes, Mr. Todd! 

Yes, Mr. Todd! 

Yes, all around! 

TODD: 

It's man devouring man, my dear! 

BOTH: 

And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here? 



TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times, 

Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for! 

LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven! 

TODD: What is that? 



LOVETT: 

It's priest. Have a little priest. 

TODD: 

Is it really good? 

LOVETT: 

Sir, it's too good, at least! 

Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, 

So it's pretty fresh. 

TODD: 

Awful lot of fat. 

LOVETT: 

Only where it sat. 

TODD: 

Haven't you got poet, or something like that? 

LOVETT: 

No, y'see, the trouble with poet is 

'Ow do you know it's deceased? 

Try the priest! 



Lawyer's rather nice. 

TODD: 

If it's for a price. 

LOVETT: 

Order something else, though, to follow, 

Since no one should swallow it twice! 

TODD: 

Anything that's lean. 

LOVETT: 

Well, then, if you're British and loyal, 

You might enjoy Royal Marine! 

Anyway, it's clean. 

Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been! 

TODD: 

Is that squire, 

On the fire? 

LOVETT: 

Mercy no, sir, look closer, 

You'll notice it's grocer! 

TODD: 

Looks thicker, 

More like vicar! 

LOVETT: 

No, it has to be grocer -- 

It's green! 



TODD: 

The history of the world, my love -- 

LOVETT: 

Save a lot of graves, 

Do a lot of relatives favors! 

TODD: 

Is those below serving those up above! 

LOVETT: 

Ev'rybody shaves, 

So there should be plenty of flavors! 

TODD: 

How gratifying for once to know 

BOTH: 

That those above will serve those down below! 



TODD: What is that? 

LOVETT: 

It's fop. 

Finest in the shop. 

And we have some shepherd's pie peppered 

With actual shepherd on top! 

And I've just begun -- 

Here's the politician, so oily 

It's served with a doily, 

Have one! 

TODD: 

Put it on a bun. 

Well, you never know if it's going to run! 

LOVETT: 

Try the friar, 

Fried, it's drier! 

TODD: 

No, the clergy is really 

Too coarse and too mealy! 

LOVETT: 

Then actor, 

That's compacter! 

TODD: 

Yes, and always arrives overdone! 

I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu! 



TODD: 

Have charity towards the world, my pet! 

LOVETT: 

Yes, yes, I know, my love! 

TODD: 

We'll take the customers that we can get! 

LOVETT: 

High-born and low, my love! 

TODD: 

We'll not discriminate great from small! 

No, we'll serve anyone, 

Meaning anyone, 

BOTH: 

And to anyone 

At all!