Mrs. Lovett:
Th at's all very well, but what are we going
To do about him?

Todd:
Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to
Some secret place and bury him.

Mrs. Lovett:
Oh yeah, of course we could do that. I don't
Suppose he's got any relatives going to come
Poking around looking for him.
Seems a downright shame…

Todd:
Shame?

Mrs. Lovett:
Seems an awful waste…
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has…
Had…
Has…
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift,
Debts to be erased,
Th ink of it as thrift,
As a gift …
If you get my drift …
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it—

Todd:
Ah!

Mrs. Lovett:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussy cats and toast.
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare,
As far as taste—

-DUET AS FOLLOWS-

Todd:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet
Mrs. Lovett:
Well, it does seem a waste…
Todd:
Appropriate, as always. Mrs. Lovett
How I did without you
All these years I'll never know!
Mrs. Lovett:
Think about it.
Todd:
How delectable!
Mrs. Lovett:
Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be coming for a shave
Todd:
Also undetectable.
Mrs. Lovett:
Won't they? Think of
Todd:
How choice!
Mrs. Lovett:
All them
Todd:
How rare!
Mrs. Lovett:
Pies!

Todd:
For what's the sound of the world out there?

Mrs. Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?

Todd:
Th ose crunching noises pervading the air?

Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, all around—

-DUET AS FOLLOWS-

Todd: Mrs.Lovett
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we to deny it in here?

Todd:
Th ese are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett,
And desperate measures are called for.

Mrs. Lovett:
Here we are, hot out of the oven.

Todd:
What is that?

Mrs. Lovett:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.

Todd:
Is it really good?

Mrs. Lovett:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

Todd:
Awful lot of fat.

Mrs. Lovett:
Only where it sat.

Todd:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?

Mrs. Lovett:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.
Lawyer's rather nice.

Todd:
If it's for a price.

Mrs. Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.

Todd:
Anything that's lean.

Mrs. Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Th ough, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.

Todd:
Is that squire
On the fire?

Mrs. Lovett:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.

Todd:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.

Mrs. Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer—it's green.

Todd:
The history of the world, my love—

Mrs. Lovett:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors…

Todd:
—Is those below serving those up above.

Mrs. Lovett:
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavours…

Todd:
How gratifying for once to know—

Both
—that those above will serve those down below!

Todd:
What is that?

Mrs. Lovett:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's a politician—so oily
It's served with a doily—
Have one?

Todd:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.

Mrs. Lovett:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.

Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy.

Mrs. Lovett:
Then actor—
It's compacter.

Todd:
oh but always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have Judge on the menu.
Have charity toward the world, my pet—

Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, yes, I know, my love—

Todd:
We'll take the customers that we can get.

Mrs. Lovett:
High-born and low, my love.

Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small.
No, we'll serve anyone—
Meaning anyone—

Mrs. Lovett:
We'll serve anyone—

Both
And to anyone
At all!