The blim holes in my shell suit,
joined into an absolute,
and fell apart one day.
They stitched me up in Everton,
then they took me to a surgeon:
lost on penalties.
Mario Man.

I married at the altar,
the village idiot's daughter,
Oh! Lucky me.
We honeymooned in Cyprus,
that's where she caught the virus.
I flew home alone,
so I bought myself a chip pan,
and sailed it to the Isle of Man,
for a holiday.

Struggling in a vortex,
with my jacket made of goretex,
if fits wonderfully.

Mario Man.
Zap! Zap!
Wham! Wham!
Says the Mario Man today.
He played so hard,
he's got blisters on his fingers