JOE (V.O.)

I guess it was five a.m.

A homicide had been reported

From one of those crazy mansions up on Sunset

Tomorrow every front page

Is going to lead with this story

You see an old time movie star is involved

Maybe the biggest star of all



But before you read about it

Before it gets distorted

By those Hollywood piranhas

If you wanna know the real facts

You've come to the right party



Let me take you back six months

I was at the bottom of the barrel

I'd had a contract down at Fox

But I'd fallen foul of Darryl

Now I had a date at Paramount

Along with about a thousand other writers

If it didn't come up roses

I'd be covering funerals

Back in Dayton, Ohio



I'd hidden my car three blocks away

Turned out to be a smart move.