I bought you for my daughter's birthday
but I'm keeping you for myself
I just couldn't imagine you wasting away
from utter neglect in her dollhouse hell
I peeled off all your tags
and pulled you out of the bright pink box
I knew I had to hide my fantasy bride
in the drawer beneath my socks
Now my family goes to sleep and we go downstairs
so no one will discover what the young lovers share

Chorus:
I pretend your knees and elbows bend
and you're all anatomically correct
with a brain above that plastic neck

But I get so, so angry when you just sit and stare
like some inanimate bimbo
there's gouges and marks all over your body
cause I've let my nasty temper go
You're not as pretty since I broke your foot
when I threw you against the wall
I've burned you with my matches, razor cuts and scratches
and you forget and forgive it all
Believe me when I say I'm gonna leave my wife
and find a magic doctor that'll bring you to life

Chorus