Bored stiff with my wallet fat, I ordained myself a diplomat
bought a plane and some aerosol, sprayed my name on China's Wall
Then I pissed all over the Kremlin steps, punched a monk in Tibet
got drunk and disordered in the ol' big Apple, passed gas in the Cistine Chapel

I've thrown darts at the Mona Lisa, tied lead weights to the tower of Pisa
sold salt water in the big Sahara, then I took a shit in the Riviera
Asshole World Renown

Went to Rome and spread V.D., robbed the homeless in Tahiti
was slapped by a woman in the great Euphrates, kidnapped kids in the slums of Haiti
Poisoned livestock in Korea, tainted food shelves in Tanzania
torched Saigon like a Buddhist pyro, slashed tires in the streets of Cairo

I chucked eggs at Castro's doorway, I once puked on the king of Norway
for eighteen days I roamed Japan, choking little kittens with my bare hands
Stuck my gum on Venus De Milo, did Zimbabwe shooting rhinos
ran nude straight through Nepal, spit my chew in Taj Mahal

Asshole World Renown