Stephen Lynch
Stephen Lynch - History Lesson lyrics
Your rating:
Stephen: I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush. Friends: Why? Stephen: Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century. Friends: Wait! So how do you know this? Stephen: Cause I used to be a teacher. Friends: (Laugh)You used to be a teacher? Stephen: Yes Friend: Professor? Stephen: No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids. Friend: Of course you did. Stephen: Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you... Ben Franklin "Ben Franklin went out one night, Tied a key to the end of a kite, Electricity struck so bright, Write it down muthafuckas" Friends: You called the kids motherfuckers? Stephen: Some of them were motherfuckers yes. Friends: Science Stephen: Um... "Issac Newton sat under a tree, An apple hit him in the head so he, Said holy shit that's gravity, So write it down muthafuckas" I have a million of theses. Friends: Pilgrims Stephen: Okay... hey... "Pilgrims raced against the clock, Lookin for a place to dock, They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock, Write it down muthafuckas." Friends: I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy. Stephen: I'm not implying anything. Friend: Wright Brothers Stephen: Uh... "A dude named Orville Wright, Told his brother lets invinflight, So Wilbur said "ight", Write it down muthafuckas" Yes, he said "ight" Friend: Wilbur said "ight"? Stephen: In my story he did. Friend: Wilbur was street in your story? Stephen: Yes Friend: Word Stephen: See, you can't stump me Friend: Slavery? Stephen: Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well... "Abe Lincoln lead the nation, Freed slaves form the plantations, Inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation, Write it down anaem-ops." Friend: Gandhi! Stephen: Uh... I did not have one for him. Uh... hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright. (Slowly) "Gandhi is what you said, An Indian with a bald head, He was a bit under fed, Write is down muthafuckas!" Fried from that job! Friend: Your a genius.