Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
They don't talk or act like you do
Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
No they sure don't look like you

Who, what, when, where and why everyday
Identify every disease
I drew a blank in my language
And latin and Spanish and Greek
Thrown out, thrown out so happy at first
I danced 'til I wore out my shoes
Now I'm in trouble I know it
Please let me back in to school

Back in the happy haunting ground
   Where all around are fair, fair game
I need the happy haunting ground
   'Cause all around it's not the same

How to say it, and not to offend
Well, you're still inside it's OK
As soon as a girl leaves the refuge
Out go the reason they're great
Hips are spreading, and never a smile
They always demand that they drive
Well, I've got to get back inside there
Back where at least they are alive

(CHORUS)

Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
They can sort of dance like you do
Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
But they just can't last like you

Some are coming to learn how to read
Others to learn how to write
But I want a better selection
It's larger but poorer outside

It's fair fair game inside etc.

(CHORUS)

It's fair fair game inside etc.

(CHORUS