This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I’m out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I’ll never tell

She is the one she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I’m right
In her tight--
embrace,
Tight embrace
I’ll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that--
No.
I’ll never tell
Both: 'cause there's
Nothing to tell

He snores
She wheezes
Say "housework," and he freezes
She eats these Skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe
I talk,
He breezes
She doesn't know
What please is
His penis got diseases
From a chumash tribe
The vibe gets kind of scary
Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Like it's all just temporary
Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
'Cause, god knows,
I'll never tell

When things get rough
He just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know
She clings,
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She never--
His eyes are beady
This is my verse,
Hello? She--

Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!

You know
You're quite the charmer
My knight in armour
You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple--
Tight embrace

He's swell
She's sweller
He'll always be my feller
That's why I’ll never
Tell her that I’m petrified
I’ve read this tale
There's wedding
Then betrayal
I know there'll come the day
I'll want to run and hide

I lied
I said it's easy
I’ve tried
But there's these fears I can't quell
Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Will I look good when I’ve gotten old?
Will our lives become too stressful
If I’m never that successful?
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley
Am I crazy?
Am I dreamin'?
Am I marrying
A demon?
We could
Really raise the beam
In makin' marriage a hell
So, thank god,
I'll never tell
I swear
That I’ll never tell
My lips
Are sealed
I take the fifth
Nothing to see,
Move it along
I’ll never
Tell