I'm mangled horribly
Lost an arm and a family
My job I can't go back
Wrong way on a one arm track
Can't rock, can't wank, can't mop
My search will never stop

Sweet holy shit I need an arm
So...
Me and lefty will search high and low
So let's go...

Cause you know
If you're out there
I will find you
Cause my throbbin' stump just won't do
Now I'm achin' and crampin'
Cause lefty's been workin' for two

Oh baby girl
If I get you back it's gonna be manicure city
I'm talkin' expensive hand creams
Cuticle rubs
And my solemn promise to be a one hand man

I travelled here and there
Looked goddamn everywhere
My arm I cannot find
My dink shrunk back inside

Sweet holy shit I need an arm
So...
Me and lefty did search high and low
But oh no...
This ain't the way that it should be
You see..
One lonely goddamn amputee
That's me!

I'm dyin for that day
When I don't have to say
I need an arm

Why'd you have to leave me?
When all I wanted to do was love you
Now I gots a hole in my heart the size of a fist, literally
As you punched it on the way out of my life
Now I'm on my knees
Dreamin' of the day when I can clap again
Give myself a high five
Flip the double bird
Or do shadow puppets for Sol and Ricky
Why Righty? Why'd you have to leave your sister and me?
Why? WHY!?!