You've got the names
And the favourite persuasions
Of the people in the headlines
I'm in there under A
And I'm rated under B
You've got the photographs to prove it
And I swear to God it's not me
You've got a hard heart
Being hard is your art
You think love is a dirty dirty word
You pick up the phone
And you ring when I'm at home
Then you put it down
And I'm reaching for my valium

Chorus:
My secret life
Living life
On a knife edge of life
Tell my wife
And she's just had a breakdown
And I
I'm not rich
But I'm top in my pitch
And you'll ruin the lot
Finish everything I've got

I'll give you anything
Anything to shut you up
Why do you hate me so much
What have I ever
Done to you
But leave you

I don't want to play
Cat and Mouse
Have the neighbors
Looking over at my house
All the secret smiles
When I walk in the room
And I think I'm going to
Crack up soon
I'm going to run away
Find a place in the dark
Where I don't have to hear
The nasty nasty talk

Change my sex
Change my hair
Be hard to find anywhere

Chorus