It's just another Saturday Hanging out at DBA

All I came for was whisky and a bunch of pints

I have a drink or two or three And I feel like I'm on TV

'Cause some girl across the bar is giving me the evil eye

I make a move to see what's up and bump right into some dump jock

The guy gets pissed and he throws his drink right in my face

Well now he started, but I'll finish

But first I'll have another Guinness

Fighting's such a boring thing I gave it up, I always win



Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life

Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!

Don't tell me how to live my life!



Another guy, another day. Why won't this guy just go away

Talk my ear off and I don't want to smell your breath

You like my band, I understand When you say, "I love you man"

Can't I have just a minute to go take a piss?

The he asks me if I'm saved And do I walk with God each day

No way man, I have always been down with sin

He tells me God loves all of us as I get back on the bus

'Cause God just told me I was gonna get my dick sucked!

Good for you, you're born again Yuppie Young Republican



Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life

Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!

Don't tell me how to live my life!



Being straight makes you happy Stay the fuck away from me

So you're gay, oh happy day And you don't smoke, that's just great

And eating meat, oh God forbid

You'll be more fun when you're dead



Another time, far away, I'm in Tampa, FLA

I saw my friends and we went out and got really drunk

Got in the car and drove around

and passed the Yankees training ground

We drove up close and then I went and hopped the fence

I ran around the bases twice and thought the on-deck mat was nice

I put it back though and ran back out to meet my friends

The cops were there, they saw the tape

Straight to jail at any rate

Three month later Howard Stern got George to drop the case!



Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life

Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!

Don't tell me how to live my life!