When you walked into the room
I couldn't keep my eyes off you
It wasn't because you were beautiful
But because you were ugly like me
Yes, there was an attraction
We had something in common
When you licked those cold sores on your lips
I knew I had been blessed
Oh life is beautiful, unlike you and I
Oh how I longed to press my zits against your zits

Or to rub my scabs upon your scabs
When you walked over and bit my hand
I knew we would share an everlasting case of leprosy
Now we live together in our infected state
Oh so full of love and oh so free from hate
And you've just given birth to a two headed baby boy
Finally someone to call our own