I think I'm gonna go home, 'cause you just ran out of beer 

And there's nothing you can say that'll make me wanna stay around here 

You're lying there half naked 

But these tunes you're playing just won't make it 

You got a great body, but your record collection sucks 



You got every Tom Cruise film soundtrack ever made 

They might get you off, but they ain't gonna get you laid 

Modern country and gangsta rap 

And what's with all this New Age crap? 

You got a great body, but your record collection sucks 



I'm afraid that I'll never learn to live 

With what you call "alternative" 

Unplugged albums and charity projects 

And bands named for inanimate objects 



But I gotta go now 'cause you just put on "The Wall" 

Don't try to phone 'cause I won't return the call 

I could never fall in love 

With a member of a record club 

You got a great body, but your record collection sucks 



I'm afraid that I'll never learn to live 

With what you call "alternative" 

All your unplugged albums and charity projects 

And bands named for inanimate objects 



"All the great love songs that only two can share 

On one CD for the first time anywhere" 

You can save 'em for another guy 

"Operators are standing by" 

You got a great body, but your record collection sucks