Why don't you swallow a handful of someone else's pills?

It will solve all of my problems and cure all your ills



Take the little red capsules . . . that relieve your tension

Take the little white tablets . . . that prevent conception

Take the little black beauties . . . sure to make you thin

And wash 'em all down with a bottle of gin!



Cross my heart and hope to die

I'll lay pennies on your eyes

Tag your toe for all to see

DOA, RSVP



There ain't no two ways about it

There ain't no two ways about it

There ain't no two ways about it

You're gonna die!



And when you swallow a handful of someone else's pills

Just remember everybody who told you suicide kills



But you took a little more valium . . . you took a little more speed

You took a little more Darvon . . . but you never took heed

You took a little getting used to . . . with everything you were on

And now I'm getting used to the fact that you're gone!



Cross your arms and lay to rest

I'll lay lillies on your chest

Shake my head at your disgrace

While they throw dirt on your face



There ain't no two ways about it

There ain't no two ways about it

There ain't no two ways about it

You're gonna die!



There ain't no two ways about it

No two ways about it

No two ways about it

You're gonna die!