Well, there's a new sensation in the neighborhood

And self-gratification never felt so good

You don't need a lot of training in the ways of love

Just a good firm grip and a Playtex glove



I see you standing in the corner at the high school dance

Get out on the floor and get out of your pants

I see your hands swinging loose to the beat of the bands

But there's a brand new beat and you can use both hands



You're gonna look so sweet on the toilet seat

Doing the pubic beat



You gotta put your inhibitions up away on the shelf

And when the feeling starts to hit you, get a grip on yourself

All the uptight people will be heading for the door

But won't you stick around with me and make a mess on the floor?



You're gonna look so sweet on the toilet seat

Doing the pubic beat



I see your hands swinging loose to the beat of the bands

But there's a brand new beat and you can use both hands

And all the uptight people will be heading for the door

Why don't you stick around with me and make a mess on the floor?



You're gonna look so sweet, so indiscreet

With your hands on your meat, turning red as a beet

You're gonna look so sweet on the toilet seat

Doing the pubic beat