(Okay now years ago I wrote a song called A Boy Named Sue and that was okay

And everything except then I started to think about it and I thought 

It is unfair I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid's point of view

And as I get more older and more fatherly

I begin to look at things from an old man's point of view

So I decided to give the old man equal time okay here we go)



Yeah I lef' home when the kid was three and it sure felt good to be fancy free

Tho I knew it wasn't quite the fatherly thing to do 

But that kid kept screamin' and throwin' up and pissin' in his pants til I had enough

So just for revenge I went and named him Sue

Yeah it was Gatlinberg in mid July I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by

Gettin' old and goin' from bad to worse

When thru the door with an awful scream comes the ugliest queen I've ever seen

He says my name is Sue how do you do then he hits me with his purse



Now this ain't the way he tells the tale but he scratched my face with his fingernails

And then he bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe 

So I hit him in the nose and he started to cry and he threw some perfume in my eye

And it sure ain't easy fightin' with a boy named Sue



So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chair

And he screamed hey dad you mussed my hair

And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint 

He was spittin' blood I was spittin' teeth 

And we crashed through the wall and out into the street

A kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the creme de menth



Then out of his garter he pulls a gun I'm about to get shot by my very own son 

He's screamin' bout Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim uh

So I thought fast and I told him some stuff 

How I named him Sue just to make him tough 

And I guess he bought it cuz now I'm livin' with him 

Yeah he cooks and sews and cleans up the place he cuts my hair and shaves my face 

And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do

And on the nights that I can't score well I can't tell you anymore 

Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue yeah a son is fun 

But it's a joy to have a boy named Sue